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buried under a mountain of tar—the child is invisible
so much blame, shame and hatred have been piled upon her
that you cannot see her anymore
you don't even know that she is there
completely isolated from contact with any living being
she is totally alone
surrounded by all that black tar stuff that tells her
you are not a lovable person—you are wrong
never-ending blame and guilt—the incest—the car accident
produced more and more tar
no way could she ever get out from under all that black tar
trapped where there is no light she feels painfully
the weight and heat of the mountain of tar that surrounds her
she torments herself always with the same questions
what am I doing that is so wrong? why am I being criticized?
what must I do to make everyone around me happy?
the one question she can never dare to ask herself is
—what will make me happy?
destructive madness and inhuman nonsense were piled upon her
what a crime to heap all this on a vulnerable child
who cannot fight back or see through what is going on
much less walk away from it
to the child trapped in this dark place I bring a light
I reach out to the terrified child who believed false accusations
I gently hold her and calm her fears
I ask her if she will walk with me and leave behind
all the expectations, the guilt and the blame
that have been burdening her spirit
she takes my hand and I lead her on the path to freedom
© Barbara Rogers
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Screams from Childhood |
